When your date is a bottle of vodka.
When you respond to your own texts.
When you steal a llama from a circus and taking him around town.
When you thought your were Captain Jack Sparrow.
When you attempt to use a taco as ID…
…or a cheeseburger as a shoe.
When you count this as one glass of wine.
When you’ve crashed your car.
When you ride a pig down the sidewalk and never drop your drink.
When you need help taking your DUI mugshot.
When you’re more concerned about your drink than getting hit in the face with the bouquet.
When this is your daily yoga routine.
When you’ve made out with beer on national television.
When you find this in the morning because you were saving it for later.
When you wear this tie to work everyday.
When you pretend to be pregnant.
When your recliner has a built-in beer dispenser.
When this is your outfit for a night on the town.
When you make Craigslist ads for someone to drive you to Taco Bell.
When you perform some late night gardening.
When your wedding reception is a beer pong tournament.
When you need a drink while brushing your hair.
When you want him.
When you are defeated by a sliding door.
When you finish an entire keg during a round of golf.
When your most important property is beer.
When this isn’t even the largest beer pong game you’ve played.
When you can barely walk but still make an attempt to get some more beer.
When you’ve experienced a bad flash mob/intervention.